The Voyager

The soothing timbre of the singer’s voice blended with the faint strains of the harmonium: deep, calm and measured. In the haunting lyrics, she could almost hear his voice speaking to her even though he had been gone for many years:

“…I’m leaving for distant shores/And I’ll love you always/I always will

Often in the past, they had traveled together. She had looked forward to those voyages with excitement and anticipation because he had made them comfortable and entertaining. He had bolstered her during all of her own individual forays into the world, and re-vitalized her when she returned, sometimes triumphant and sometimes despondent. But she had always returned. Now he was embarking alone on a journey to an unknown destination. Many had come to bid him farewell and ask that he remember them. They had long since gone back to their own homes and only those closest remained now, some sleeping, others standing watch as she was. The air was cold and still and seemed to listen intently for the arrival of the escort that would accompany him to his destination.His breath became almost imperceptible. As she had so often before, she laid her head against his chest, listening to the cadence of his heartbeat. Its tempo was slower and weaker now, but to give her the tangible reassurance of his presence, she knew he would will it to continue beating until it was no longer in his control to do so.  Some claimed he had said goodbye to them in a dream while they were sleeping. Even in this he had thought of her, ensuring that the shadows did not disturb her rest or rob her of the opportunity to part from him in full awareness. 

 Come to my island/Bring me your soul/I’ll give you rubies/I’ll give you gold

She craved one more day to hear his voice, one more hour to see his smile, one last minute to feel his arms close around her comfortingly and his warm lips pressed to her skin in a loving, gentle salute. These were far more valuable a treasure than the cold and lifeless metal and stones which once, long ago, had been precious in her eyes. They could not pay her passage or she would have gladly surrendered them to go with him. He had been the giver, and she had taken greedily, like the boy in The Giving Tree. Now, if she could, she would give him her soul without hesitation, trusting that he would return it, not only intact, but enriched and luminous. The words of the song said he was moving on. There would be no bargaining for more time, for the messenger was implacable in his purpose. The departure had only been delayed but could not be avoided indefinitely. She stayed beside him now so that it would not go unnoticed.

 “Keep what I gave you, close to your heart/As long as it’s with you, we’ll never part”

His was a voice never raised in demand but one which compelled compliance nevertheless because he did not use it for his own aggrandizement, but to help as many as he could. She felt unequal to the task that he laid upon her with his words but he had given her his trust as the guardian of a treasure more valuable than jewels or gold, so she would attempt to honor his instructions. She never understood why he gave so generously without expecting anything in return. Now she realized that his love was more valuable because it was not hoarded or doled out sparingly, but given freely and selflessly. She wondered if he had ever felt as alone or adrift as she did now and how he had been able to shoulder his responsibilities and discharge them with such ease and grace. She only prayed that she would have his same generosity of spirit.

Untie your heartstrings/Do as you’re told/Please don’t forget me/Or let me grow old”

She had thought her heart gone with him but then she realized that he had, in fact, left his with her. Her eyes fell on the two small slumbering forms curled on either side of her. One had his eyes, compassion, sensitivity and loyal nature, the other his smile, confidence, practicality and self-reliance. Each time she looked at them, she would always feel comforted as though he were beside her once again. Other men would leave their legacy in tangible things like buildings, empires, or works of art or music for the world to see and admire. When those were altered or destroyed, there was often no one left who remembered the person who created them.  He had never looked for that kind of legacy to mark his life. She would pass on her memories of him in the hope that he would be an example to those who carried a part of his genes of how to endure both great joy and sorrow without falling victim to the turbulent emotions aroused by either, and how to live a life of purpose and integrity. His sheltering presence had given her courage and strength. There could be no greater tribute to the life he had lived than to apply the lessons he taught so unobtrusively. If at times she doubted her ability to do so, she knew his faith in her had never faltered or diminished.

And I’ll love you always/I always will…

(The words in bold are part of an original song composed by a friend)